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Sunday, 27 March 2011

A Year Without Rain

"Everybody throw out your hands way up and sing! He's gone around the world and he'll drive you insane!"
Bang Bang Bang - Wajid Ali

Earth hour's over. Yay. The lights can be turned on once again.

So what did YOU do for Earth hour? Sit at home? Candlelight dinner? Mamak? I sat by the piano with a glass of Russian Standard and let my fingers do the business on the keys. It's been a while since I last let my feelings out on the piano. It wasn't as magical (maybe because I was sweating so much I just flung my shirt off halfway) but it did bring some stuff back.

Ever played that one song that shoots you all the way back to the past? Regardless if you play the violin, the piano, or any instrument for that matter, it seems to take you back in time to someplace in your life. It's like a moment in time is locked onto that song.

I started writing songs that helped me convey messages when I was 15, and slowly it has turned into a method of self-expression. It used to be personal but now it's becoming more and more open.

The exploration or newer genres has totally opened up a whole new world for me and my feelings. I wish I had more inspiration to write. I'm like...running low on creative juices at the moment.

I guess that's all. I'll post again when the creation spirit rekindles.


Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Tell The World I'm Coming Home

"He's got that ambition. Baby, look in his eyes."
Gold Digger - Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx

I've got homework so I have gotta make this fast. Please don't laugh at this post. It's very serious business.

As you all know I just got back from Vietnam with my choir, the YoungChoral Academy Youth Chamber Choir. Yes we're a fun lot, but I'm not here to blog about our bragging rights and whatnot.

I need a favour from you. It only will take a couple of minutes. I promise.

Imagine having a leader that nurtured brought your team to victory. Imagine how proud he would stand when the team is announced the winner. Imagine the glory and celebration that would happen...

The person lying on the hospital bed above is in critical condition in ICU. He is still struggling to survive in Da Nang hospital, Hoi An, Vietnam. An unknown infection has gotten to him and doctors are racing against the clock to save him.

That person is also the captain of the Diporonegro University Choir from Indonesia. The choir that won their category. The same choir that made my hair stand when they performed their winning number, the Circle of Life. The same choir that won the Grand Prix.

Little did we know that as his team was fighting for the gold, he was at the same time fighting for his life. Yes. He missed the competition, but his team spirit carried on.

He needs YOUR prayers. Yes. YOU. That's what I wanted to ask. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM.

His name is Febriyanto, and I believe that God is holding his hand now and telling us that a miracle is going to happen. All we need to do is pray.

Donations are accepted. For more information, do contact Ramli Andrianto Nainggolan at +62.813.2020.9496.

The full story is on Facebook. Click here to read.

Hang in there Febri. We're here for you.


Thursday, 17 March 2011

I Don't Mean To Be Rude

“I know there’s sunshine behind that rain. I know there’s good times behind that pain. Can somebody tell me how to make a change. I close my eyes and I can see a better day.”
Pray - Justin Bieber

Please forgive me if I offend any of you through this. I really need to get over all the frustration that is bouncing around in my head so that the smile on my face tomorrow will be a genuine one. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m on my hyperactive masochist mode tonight so anything that would potentially hurt my feelings has been amplified by a dozen times. I still love you all no matter what.

It’s 10:40 pm and I’m going all bat-shit in my hotel room. I can’t believe that the competition is gonna be tomorrow. We’ve been working our ass off for the past what? 5 months (yes I’m so freaking screwed up that I lost count)

I’ll tell you all honestly. I’m not ready. Really. I’ve fallen back in the race we’ve all been running in as a team. I have to admit that I’ve been a dick. I just hope that I won’t let you down tomorrow.

Now that the strings have been tightened and we’re all getting nervous. I realize that it’s too late to start towing my line. I just wasted my once-in-a-freaking-lifetime chance to show the world how proud I am to be Malaysian. I’m pulling hard and I hope that I can make it through with you all. I really don’t want to pull you all down with my bullshit.

I’ve gotten the cues. I know I’ve not been serious. I still can’t get my Filipino pronunciation right and I’m still lost in the clouds while everyone is firmly on the ground waiting to take on the world. It’s like I’ve been given up upon.

Maybe it’s because I’ve lost my youth. I’m not blaming anyone but myself. I should have known that something, somewhere wasn’t right. I say I’m perky and I try to be, but it’s still so hard to be like all of you. I don’t chase after girls, I dance like a blob of toufu and I’m a weird dick who has an obsession with feminine stuff like pink and balloons and whatnot. It’s really hard being different. Being 19 sucks too. I wish I could switch places with ANYONE of you. I’ve made too many mistakes and I want to take them all back but I can’t.

The reason I always come for rehearsals with a smile (although I am almost always late) is because I look forward to it. I look forward to what we do because I really love to sing. Music has been part and parcel of what keeps me alive till today. It was the basis of this very blog where you’re reading this shitty post, and it is what I will continue doing for as long as I live.

I don’t know why I seem like a sore thumb here, like a big rusty spring that sticks out of a big fluffy cushion. Like why someone else tells the same joke as me it always seems way funnier. Like why I don’t seem to know even 1% of our inside jokes. I’m not from DJ or from KDU or from the recent KLCC alumni so I guess that puts me in the same category as you-know-who. Yes, that you-know-who whom you all player hate at. The same poor little girl who was given the opportunity to be one of us. I don’t care if some of the big shots in the YC think she’s a bitch. Who are we to judge? We’re firing our bullets in the wrong direction anyway by doing so.

I wish that deep down inside I will know what I’ve been missing all along. Is it my style? Or my knocked up sexuality that makes me look totally homosexual because no one out there wants me? I don’t know what to change and I don’t know what I have to stop doing.

Maybe I’m just worked up. Maybe I need some sleep. Maybe I need to take these contact lenses off and hit the sack...but I hope that this helps me out. I hope that you all hear me because I’m trying to control myself here. I just don’t want to hurt anybody. I love you all to bits, even if some of you might want to kill me i still love you all, and I plan to keep it that way.


Thursday, 3 March 2011

Undiluted Heady Essence

"My mama told me when I was young, we're all born superstars."
Born This Way - Lady Gaga

It has been a long time since I last did a birthday shoutout on my blog, and I'mma race against the clock to get this out before midnight. I hope I make it...

I've known this girl since I was 10 or 11. Hmm...I can't seem to remember exactly. We met on the wrong footing. I mistook you for someone else who looked like you (hint: very short hair back then) and it was a bumpy road for a while.

Back then I was singing with your brother (the AWESOME Darrel Chan) who was like the ultimate counterpart to my voice back then. I miss the way my vocal cords rang before my voice broke. It used to be so melodious, now I can't sing like that anymore :(.

Now we're choirmates and it has been one hell of a fun and awesome journey together. It went full circle for me. I joined to sing, then it got boring so I became a playful, naughty little kid kid and now I'm back to going there to sing and have fun along the way. I'm perky for a reason. I hope you all in the choir know that I'm like that especially with you all because you all have a very, very special place in my heart.

Ok. On to it.

(yes I like that picture very much...)

Just because you're no longer sixteen, it doesn't mean that you can't be sweet anymore! Have a SWEETER 17!

You're an awesome singer and you've got a ton of talent in so many things. I think you'll make the perfect all-rounder any school is looking for. You say you're emo, but you're the only "emo" person I know who doesn't drink, smoke, cut themselves or swear excessively. You can be a ball of sunshine when you want to be one, and when you are your happiness is really radiant :)

Just know that...


Where was I? Oh yeah.

Just know that you've got a great personality. I enjoyed working with you and Andrew on the T-Shirts and everything. Don't worry about tomorrow today. I'll keep you posted on anything new that happens.

I was gonna get you a little something on the way but then my hectic schedule got me so tangled so I'm sorry. Next year then :P

Oh yeah! Best of luck in MSSD tomorrow! I don't think you'll need much luck though, as Uncle George said that he won't be attending the awards ceremony because he KNOWS you'll win something :). I hope it's something shiny and golden :D. Still I'm gonna wish you all the best.

Take care dear! Keep smiling! Hugs and kisses!


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