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Saturday, 14 May 2011

Stayin' Alive! -Part One- All Over Again

"Know y'all been patiently waiting. I know you need me. I can feel it!"
More - Usher

I hope none of you have run so desperately out of patience that you quit reading....wait, you're reading yay! Welcome back! :)

As you can see I've taken down the balloons from my old banner. Why? This blog isn't "new" anymore. It's actually 4 years old. Revived from the dead successfully. Twice, and this time. I'm gonna make sure that it won't crash again.

A post a week shouldn't be too hard. It is just the assignments that I have been getting. Believe it or not, I'm not blaming the assignments.

I'm blaming myself.

I'm a professional procrastinator. I completely utilize the eleventh hour to its ultimate efficiency and can pack more than you think into the last minute. It has been like this since I started college. Late night Skype convos with Google Docs helping us to keep in sync with one another is what my life has been for these few weeks. It's tiring, but I like it. Learning to love what screws up your life is pretty much the way to take on a more positive lifestyle.

Why the hell do I do this? I wanna go back to being my optimist self. I wanna go back to the days when I could smile while I work (not that I ever did it consistently). Those days when I would go home in the wee hours of the morning, collapse onto bed and feel good and all set to do it again the very next day. Yes, I have had those days. I realised that it only seems torturous when you get a taste of luxury. I had to get used to the crapload. Now the shitstorm is nothing more than a violent thunderstorm outside my window as I work. It comes and goes while I sit through it, immune to the strong winds.

It only took an hour of pure summertime sunshine to suddenly realize what kind of crap I have been going through. Sometimes, anticipating the rainbow after the storm can have its bad side. Instead of working towards it, you begin to wait for it. The longer you wait, the slower the time becomes. And then it leads you into a total paradox. You wait longer and longer as time twists and messes up your schedule.

Breaking out of the rainbow-spangled wonderland of our dreams can be a hard thing to do, but we have to wake up. There's a reason why we dream when we sleep, because God blessed us with an imagination. We sleep every night (at least most of us do). Dreaming helps us unwind and unravel the inner serendipity that lies inside us that has been bundled up with all the frustration of the day. That's why when you dream about work, it seems easier all of a sudden.

I've always believed in dreams. They're unexplainable. They're mysterious. They're a miracle of your mind because they're powered by your soul. Your soul is a gift from God, designed and tailored just for you. It's irreplaceable and eternally yours.

I hope whatever I just wrote made some sense to you. Sometimes, writing out whatever you make out of life helps you to step out of your shoes and look at what sorts of nonsense you're up to. Through that I learn more about myself. As I always say, life's a journey.

Enjoy the trip. Cars have mirrors for a reason. Use them.


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