In My Chevette -Part One- In A Hood Near You

“You have been good to me. You kept your word and got me through these years. All I ask is that you be there when I return”
This Is Our Town - We The Kings

I’m sitting in the back seat of my driving instructor’s Perodua Kancil after just having finished my final driving class. Tomorrow’s my test. Wish me luck!

Never before have I pushed a car to 60 km/h and feel comfortable doing it. The experience was one-of-a-kind and the confidence I felt was amazing. I sure hope I can do the same tomorrow.

Perodua Kancils are rather claustrophobia inducing. They are tiny in size and are certainly NOT my kind of car. I wouldn’t mind the same engine in a bigger vehicle though. It’s the size that I dislike.

College was a rough ride today. The economics presentation was pretty much a mess, and I have no one but myself to blame again. The kind of marks I received were hopeless. ESL was still a rocky road. I think I might have to do a last-minute alteration to my investigative study proposal…

To add to the shitstorm, some complete idiots are giving my old school a bad name.

Love is an intriguing thing that makes our lives more worthwhile. There is no life without love. And no, I’m not talking about the crazy lala girls who go through 20 boyfriends in a month or the vain and spendthrift boys who take 10 girls out in a week. I’m not even talking about those bimbos who fall in “love” at a young age age and let a breakup tear their life to shreds.

In fact, this has little or nothing to do with love.

What I’m talking about is lust. People give in to lust easily. It’s no doubt that lust is the number one cause of rape in this world. However, we are not born with lust, we develop it. The people who are more lustful are those who possess an ego the size of a football and indulge in pornography every other day.

Unfortunately, a small subset of those people think that money can solve all problems. And he happens to be causing a shitload of trouble. I mean, you’re only 16 It’s the time to enjoy your life before you hit the real world. Sex was made as a gift of love. Love must always come first because it takes two loving people to take raise a child to take on the world. Look at your parents. Do you think they were caught in a wedlock? Even if they were, they won’t be the ones spoiling you with an iPhone and an education in a private school.

I always thought the description of one’s behaviour as “slutty” was just an insult and a dirty gimmick. I finally realized that it is actually a class of it’s own. Sluts make you think they care about you. They make you think they love you. They do that to all their customers to bring in the revenue that may even be what puts the food on their families’ plates. Same goes for the behaviour. It’s simple – A one night stand then it’s over……

…or is it?

What if a baby comes along? What’s gonna happen then!?

Sex isn’t a toy! Stop fooling around with it! If you just really, really can’t resist the lustful assole in you, at least keep it out of MY SCHOOL. Go do it at some backalley in a red light district in Kuala Lumpur. You have the money to afford the prima donnas there. No transport? Do it with your hand. Just don’t ruin the image of a school that changed my life with your stupid ego.

Sekolah Sri Nobel is MY TERRITORY. While you’re there, you do only one of two things and that’s either to keep the standard there up as it is, or to improve it. You don’t like it? GET OUT. You belong somewhere else.

Love,
D.A.niel

Time Is Running Out

“Baby I know how to fly. Oh, nothing can hold me down, I’m gonna touch the sky.”
Shut It Down - Pitbull feat. Akon

Earth hour just slipped by. Some of use were in the darkness enjoying, some frolicking at a slumber party planned just to celebrate it, and some other savouring candlelight romance. Then there are a few who had their lights on damn bright throughout the one hour.

What did I do? That’s simple. Blast the air conditioning (mum’s order because she’s not well) and watch The Hurt Locker. I couldn’t help but to look out for something that I read on Twitter a few weeks back.

Look closely. Still can’t see it?

It’s the Malaysian pride and joy (and probably the vehicle I’ll be driving after i get my license.) The Proton Wira. (It’s in the bottom left part of the picture if you still don’t see it.)

For those of you with slow computers or bad internet connections, stop bathing in the fact that you cheated by judging from the image filename. Yes I know our ISPs in Malaysia are getting from bad to worse. Blame them. They need it.

I can’t believe that college is gonna start again in 2 days. I’ve gotta go conduct the SIC JYM Children’s Choir at the Infant Jesus convent in Cheras and then make it home finish choir practice and down the remains of my Legal Studies homework.

Ok. This is a quick update. I gotta get back to work. Earth Hour’s long over!

Love,
D.A.niel

Right Round

“Zip your lip like a padlock, and meet me at the back with the jack at the jukebox.”
Blah Blah - Ke$ha feat. 3OH!3

Sometimes Everytime we sign up for a new service, be it Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or even an email account, we tend to overlook the last thing that tends to be annoying thing. The one stupid checkbox which we blindly tick just before pressing “SUBMIT”.

I’m talking about the Terms and Conditions. That is partially why Google starts off some of their legal notices with:

“PLEASE READ THIS, IT’S NOT THE USUAL YADDA YADDA”

So because of that little check I put in that box, I get this shit:



I just managed to send my group members my slice of the Legal Studies CT when I came back to see something fishy in my Opera Speed Dial - the little window where my Gmail is supposed to be was replaced with “Unusual Usage”.

I think I’m not supposed to put it into the Speed Dial…oops.

Notice the “Blank Page” tab right next to the open one. It’s not as simple as it looks. That’s my Facebook profile left to load for 10 straight minutes and has still not loaded. Not even a bit.
Never mind that. I was panicking for about 15 minutes on end, trying to straighten out the shit. Finally, a lifesaver popped up.

“Received 1 new unread message for leviosa626@gmail.com
Janice Chan Siew Jan commented on your status…”

At that moment I was like…wtf!!? The client works!?

Well then, Praise the Lord for the invention of the Opera browser. I’m back on track!

Whatever happened to Facebook?

Love,
D.A.niel

Not Thinkin’ Bout Tomorrow

“Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free.”
Nobody But You - Wondergirls

It’s ten past twelve on an early Thursday morning. The workload resembles a clogged funnel. So much on the top waiting to get over at such a slow pace.

I just sit reflect on so many things when the night is at this point of time. I can’t believe it’s passing so fast. Every second counts. It’s as if the world has started spinning faster all of a sudden.

Coming to think of it, this week was full of tiny little realizations. Small things that I never knew about myself just surfaced.

First was Sham. I underestimated what kind of friend I was to him. Just looking at how I treated him in the past few years breaks my heart. Every call from him which I turned down, every invitation I rejected and every instant message I ignored. Damn, I feel like a shitty friend at times.

And there are other things too.

“Anyone know how many balloons I can stuff in a Nissan Sentra?”

“That depends. Are they 8 inches, 12 inches or 16 inches?”

“Regular balloons lah!”

To be honest, you can stuff a million balloons in a compact car. Who said you need to blow them up?

Malaysia is a rubber producing country, but it’s surprising how difficult it is to engage in a conversation with someone about balloons. Just after saying goodbye to Sham, I went to Party Gadget in Times Square to take a look.

It so happened that the lady at the counter was a decorator, and that she was in the business of balloons too. The knowledge I gained that night was tremendous. She taught me so much. Best part? She even told me “You seem to know a lot about balloons. Are you a decorator?”

That made me smile. :)

I answered no. I told her I was into decorating and gifts, which is partially true (right Stephanie?).

She was a bit of a blurcase, but friendly enough to just talk to an enthusiastic customer at 10pm on a monday night.

There’s also the third fact that I am, again, procrastinating.

Nothing new.

People are tweeting about their Facebook marital status and making a big full over it. Just look at Facebook these days. More than half the marriages you see are just fake close-friend marriages. The family feature of Facebook has clearly been abused far to much.

But what can we do? That’s just society. It’s difficult to change it……

…but it’s not impossible.

Think about that.

Love,
D.A.niel

3 Guests, 2 Tickets, 1 Show

“I’m just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love is a riddle.”
The Show - Lenka

I’ve not been working THAAT hard over the past few days. I’ve had to part with a friend and I just found out a gut-wrenching probability that my mother MAY have cancer.

If you’re reading this, please pray for her. She’s getting admitted in the second week of April for surgery. Minor or major? That depends on what they find.

It was basically accidental. She went in for a CAT scan to check her thymus and they found some stuff in her lungs. The doc asked her to come back a week later for the next scan and there it was – a 5.5cm growth.

Everyone was surprised that she didn’t feel it. I mean 5.5 centimetres!? That’s huge.

But I’m sure she’ll be ok. Just help me put together some prayers and hopefully everything will be alright.

The reason for the title  is pretty depressing too. If you have tickets to THIS…

…please note that you’ve got someone really jealous of you here.

When I got the tweet from Niki Cheong (@nikicheong) that the Twestival for Kuala Lumpur was going to be in Tropicana City Mall, I was certain that I was gonna be there.

Knowing that all Twestivals are oriented on charity, I thought it was going to be an open event where stuff would be sold for charity (they’re having an auction) and to create awareness. I overlooked one tiny detail that cost me my participation.

The title says it all – THE TICKET.

There were only 100 tickets available, and sales started on the19th on March. I never knew that it happened…till today when I decided to confirm the date and time that I should go tomorrow.

Waaaarrrghhh. This sucks.

I’m not blaming anyone. As usual, I’m beating myself up over what’s originally my fault.

Love,
D.A.niel

Morning Train

“Are we an item? Girl quit playing, we're just friends. What are you saying?”
Baby – Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris

Parting with a friend, even when knowing that your paths will meet again is a painful experience. Especially when you’ve been with that friend for 2 and a half years.

To live, love and laugh with someone you see nearly every other day for 2 years brings closeness and when that someone rings you up every time he feels down or depressed makes it even harder to part with him/her.

This is the umpteenth time I have seen that you really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.I always wanted a friend whom I could talk to to give them comfort and just to be there for them. He was right below my nose and I didn’t realize it.

EDWARD SHAM TIAN KHOON, you’ve probably just reached Seremban. I’m sure you had a safe trip and you’re still settling in college. Seremban is a nice quiet town where I’m sure you’ll fit in. College’s gonna be a rough ride no matter where you take it. The best thing you can do is just enjoy it. Remember what Sandra Lee always says about life’s troubles: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

It’s cute and it’s a great approach. In sounds easy and it actually is. Look back at my post about the key to happiness. look for the silver lining in the clouds of your life. It’s there. Just look.

We Malaysians are born with selective senses. Most of the time, we choose what to hear and what not to hear, we choose what to see and what not to see and for the egoistic, choose what to feel and what not to feel. It’s up to us to break out of this selectiveness and make the choice to see hope in every failure, to see the chance to get up when we fall down, to see the destiny we’re walking towards with every step we take.

So that’s your mission. Broader that vision of yours. It’s worth it. We all walk adjacent on this. Don’t worry.

Love,
D.A.niel

I’ll Be Rockin’ Them Beats

“I know you think he’s fun and stuff, but does he know how to wind you up?”
Wind It Up – Gwen Stefani

There’s no internet connection here, but i’m itching to blog so here goes.

Today I take my QTI test to see if I am ready for a real on-the-road exam. I hope it all goes well. It’s actually a simulation of the real thing so that i don’t fail the actual test.

For those of you who are not at all sure about the Malaysian driving requirements, let me give you a lil’ insight.

DRIVE THE SENSATION’S GUIDE TO ACQUIRING A MALAYSIAN MOTORCAR DRIVING LICENSE

Upon application for your drivers’ license, you will have to sit through a 6 hour lecture. Yes. a 6 hour lecture on the highway code. You can sleep, eat, drink, blog or do whatever you want as long as your body is there. They don’t care where your soul is.

After finishing that, you will have to take a series of 3 computerized tests. First to deal with colour blindness. If you, by any chance FAIL this test, kiss your license goodbye because only a doctor’s letter can save you here.

Next is the equally important dyslexia test. If you fail this, it’s the same story as the colour-blindness. No doctors’ letter? No go.

Following the two critical tests comes the less critical but still important Highway Code test. Fifty questions. 15 of which are pretty much common sense questions, 12 on signboards, 5 on penalties and the rest are a mixture of right-of-way and other questions. Note that this is a rough estimation. The weightage of questions differ from time to time.

When you finally finish your test (which will be a relief because they’ll make you wait hours on end in a tiny room with 50 odd people), The results slip will determine your next course of action. If you’ve scored 42 and above in the test. Congrats! It’s time to move on. If not, it’s another date with the waiting room for your second try.

The next item on the list is another lecture for 3-4 hours on vehicle maintenance and safety. Yet another lecture to sleep (and dream!) your way through.

After all that is over, it’s time to hit the road. Your instructor tosses you the keys and you’re in the driver’s seat to begin driving. Don’t worry about getting it wrong the first few times. You’ll get there sometime.

You apply for your trial exam once all your driving hours are exhausted and you’re confident you can make it. So on the day you you request you get the simulation (like what I’m in and waiting for right now) of the real test.

If you pass then Yay! You’re all set for the finale, but if you fail, you’ll have to apply to do it again.

The finale is straightforward. Your car will be parked in position to begin the exam. Enter the vehicle, adjust the mirrors and your seat then get comfortable. Three things you gotta do in this test. First, the hill.

The hill is tricky. It involves a strong gut feeling of when to brake and when to clutch. You engage gear one then add a bit of accelerator to climb the hill. When you believe your side mirrors align with the poles at either side, or when you feel your tyres are in the yellow strip on the hill, deploy the handbrake and switch to neutral. Take a deep breath because the hardest part is still yet to come.

When you feel ready, engage gear 1 with your foot fully on the clutch. Then balance the clutch and the accelerator until you feel the car already going to move. That’s when you release your handbrake halfway and ride the hill. When you clear the peak, release the handbrake fully and press the clutch all the way down. Use the brakes to help you control your speed.

Now it’s time for parallel parking. Different centres have different methods of doing this so I shall not explain any of them here. Basically you have to enter a parking lot by reversing into it, straightening out and coming to a full stop. To make the task harder, there are poles surrounding the parking lot, touch one and you fail. No correspondence entertained.

Once that’s done, the easiest part follows. The three-point-turn is a piece of cake. Just enter the lot in a backwards S-shape, reverse and exit. Just don’t stop more than twice, don’t hit any of the poles and don’t get stuck in the box. Simple? It’s easier than it sounds.

And there you have it. Part one is over. Time for Part two.

Enter your assigned vehicle, greet the examiner and adjust your seat (even if it’s comfortable!). Then you deal with the mirrors. Middle, right then ask the examiner permission to adjust the left one. When granted, lean over, wind down the window and adjust it.

Then you check the ignition by touching the accelerator. If it doesn’t respond, press it a little while looking at the rpm meter. If it deflects, you’re all set. Get into gear and start driving on the pre-defined route that your examiner chooses. All driving academies have their arsenal of examination routes for the examiners to choose from. They’re mostly simple and span about 4-7 kilometres. Each incorporating a school zone, speed limit zone and at least one traffic light.

Just follow what the examiner says and you’ll be fine. It’ll be over in no time.

Be reminded that once you pass your test, YOU STILL CANNOT DRIVE! You do not hold the documents required to be able to pilot a vehicle through the unholy daredevil roads of Malaysia. You need to wait for your probationary license card. After that, you’ll need to affix two huge ridiculous “P” stickers on both the front and rear windshield of all the vehicles you will be driving. When that’s all done, you’re set to get on the road.

But as long as your license has the red “P” graphic on it, you cannot touch alcohol (not even a sip) before you drive. There’s a list of offences that could result in the revocation of your license when disobeyed, so stick to the rules or just don’t drive. If you live 3 years in the car or give up driving for 3 years, both ways you’ll get your real driving license. It’s just a 3 year gap between the probationary license and the actual license. You can get rid of the “P” sticker too while you’re at it.

I hope this helped. Maybe you can get started now. Just remember that no matter how you plan to get your license, you’ll be using a MANUAL car. I suggest that you don’t start driving automatics around because you’ll be really confused when you start using a manual car.

Love,
D.A.niel

Frequency Modulation

“Baby, don’t worry. Just get back up when you’re tumbling down, down, down.”
United State Of Pop 2009 (Blame It on The Music) – DJ Earworm

Everytime I say “I CAN DO THIS”, I don’t seem to be able to live up to it. If you have an answer to that, please let me know. I need help.

I’ve been trying to motivate myself to do better, but the only thing that seems to be by my side is my luck, and it’s running out. Fast.

Somehow, the reward waiting for me at the end of the road isn’t good enough to push me towards my goal. Motivation is the rare commodity that I’m constantly missing. Some say it’s a lack of love, but I disagree. I feel loved everyday, no doubt about that. Others say it’s a lack of attention, but I don’t really seek attention (unless I do it without noticing). Either way, I’m determined to overcome my laziness. All i need is someone to push me to take that first step.

How hard is that, I really don’t know, but for now I need to believe that I can do it. I tried telling myself that I could, but I’m still trying. Even the first step is so hard to take.

External motivation means a lot to me, but I’m careful about the affirmation I receive.My performance declines when I receive compliments.

So please help me. I need to do something.

Love,
D.A.niel

Weather The Hurricanes

“You never see a crash till it’s head-on. Why do we think we’re right when we’re dead wrong? You’ll never know a good thing till it’s gone.”
Live Like We’re Dying – Kris Allen

“Get’em while they’re hot!”

“Nip it in the bud!”

“A stitch in time saves nine!”

“Better safe than sorry!”

Ok! I get it! Do you!!?

I walked into a fire extinguisher this morning trying to see if one of my pals were walking up the staircase behind me. I wonder what people would have thought when they heard that explosive CRASHH on the C Floor of Taylors Subang…

I’m tired of syllabus based learning, but the only trouble is that the world is oriented on the stupid exam-based system invented by China. Some are still moving out, but where humans exist, idiots exist.

The spark that set it off was the fact that my good friend Edward can’t stay in his current course in Taylors. What’s worse is that he got removed from the list and is now supposedly going to Taylors Lakeside for a business diploma.

On top of that, the principal of Taylors Subang just gave us a horror-story presentation on our Tertiary Entry Ranks (TER). It was nothing like I expected. Turns out that SAM is a big gamble. It’s where you place that determines your seat in any tertiary institution. I was on the verge of withrawing myself from SAM the moment the presentation finished.

Talking to mum about dropping out of SAM was a good move. For once I could talk to my mum about a normally hostile issue without getting into a heated argument.

 

I’m gonna miss you Sham. It’s been a long hard 3 months in Taylors and we’ve had our ups and downs. It’s sad to see three months go to waste. But remember that you did your best.

Study doesn’t seem to be our thing. It was always a problem deep down in the hearts of the boys of 5 Gold. Somehow we strive to understand, compute and not memorize and cram. Unfortunately, we’re stuck between the two, lost as ever.

May you have a great experience studying in Taylors Lakeside. As i’m sitting here in the Lakeside Library blogging (Yes, I’m here, but I’m not studying here), I forsee you having the time of your life with some pretty great classmates.

As for me, I’ll be fine here. My mum and I came to this great agreement that she’ll help me all the way. I can’t believe that I managed to come to this.

*brrrrrr* *brr* *brr* *brr* *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

Hold on. I gotta take this call.

“Hello?” *sudden change of expression* “WHAT!?”

I nearly fell off the chair when that happened.It seems like Sham’s going nowhere. His parents are in disputes about what he’s gonna do now that he’s been removed from SAM at Taylors. Seems to me, one side of his parents don’t want him to go to Lakeside to do the business course he was interested in.

If you’re reading this, please pray for Sham. He needs all the help he can get. Help him to find his destiny in this world that’s full of deceit and crap.

And now, I have to study.

Love,
Daniel

Wonderland

"Got my elbows down, pinkies up. That's the way you sip my cup."

Tea Party - Kerli

Since I was young I've striven to live with the people and things around me. My family, the country, the world and beyond that. But somehow, there's one thing that I still find trouble living with...

I'm fine with bunnies. In fact, I quite like them. The thing I can't live with? TIME.

It was a helluva mission. Subang Jaya to Mid Valley Megamall in less than 2 hours by RAIL. There was no other safe choice to take. So I took the KTM Commuter to the Midvalley Station. Time taken? 1 hour 35 minutes. Goal time was 1 hour 15 minutes though.

That was my first evening out with the Advertlets gang. It was real fun being at a life-sized Wonderland in the middle of Mid Valley Megamall which was sealed off for a private event.

Dome Cafe catered for the Mad Hatter's Tea party. The scene was enacted just as Ean (from Hitz.fm) described. He said it looked like it was taken right out of wonderland and placed in Mid Valley. It was an experience like no other. The launch of the movie was mainly sponsored by MasterCard Malaysia, HSBC Bank and Walt Disney Studios Malaysia.

Swarovski Crystals and Nina perfumes also had their roles. Swarovski made awesome use of their Epoxy-aligned crystal jewelery and created a whole line of products to match the movie. From red hearts to represent the Red Quees to flowery designs to reflect to beauty of Wonderland.

Now about the movie...

In terms of chemistry, this movie had the twists like no other. But first, I don't think it should be called Alice in Wonderland. First reason being that the movie was not ENTIRELY based in Wonderland and that second, the movie was about Alice's SECOND trip into Wonderland. She made her first trip in the animated Disney movie.

Nonetheless, it was good. The theme and the computer graphics were breathtaking. Although the 3D was not put to good use at all, the scenes of Wonderland reminded me of the planet Pandora from Avatar. It was the fruit of talents well invested.

So I shall not spoil the story for you, but I bet if you're gonna walk into the cinema hall and expect to see the super pumped and 3D version of the old Alice in Wonderland you saw years ago on your CRT television hooked up to your VCR, you're in for a huge surprise.

My verdict? This is the sort of movie that's just right for the post-work mood. The chemistry of suspense was just right. Not too suspenseful but still quite predictable. Not the kind of movie that makes you pause and ponder about things, but the kind of movie you can just sit back, relax and enjoy.

Love,
D.A.niel

Overdrive Distortion

"Life's a game that isn't fair, I break the rules so I don't care. I'll be doing my own thing, standing tall against the rain. Victory's within the mile. Almost there, don't give up now."

Run This Town - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

This morning wouldn't leave me alone. I was praying and hoping that the whole of yesterday would be nothing more than a dream. Nothing more than a figment of my imagination.

I suddenly feel like I can't face this world. How did this happen? I try not to ask myself about what went wrong because I'm in the middle of forgetting the past and trying to move on. As I said in my last post, it was time to leave this in the past and go full steam ahead in SAM. But this morning, the shitload of negative thoughts just couldn't leave my parents' minds.

I used to think that I took control of my life. I used to be a top scorer. The pumped scores and the moderately uncompetitive nature of my class in form 5 got to my head and I felt like a butterfly after SPM. It wasn't the case. I was far from "in control". My dad kept ranting that I;m not in control of my life. I take full responsibility for my results, I'm not blaming anyone for the results I got neither do I blame them for the way I feel. In hindsight, I sudddenly feel that i shouldn't have entered the exam hall with a song in my heart and a smile on my face.

Now I don't think I can even face my class. My standing is at the bottom, in the pits. I'm in a dynamic class that can turn on the edge of a knife, and that is a good thing, but the only problem is, they can and I can't.

I don't feel like going for Mass in church ever again. The silent prayer room always has been and looks like what always will be my place of worship. Behind my locked room door facing my grandmother's wooden crucifix also was helpful, but somehow, somewhere, something went terribly wrong. Why can't I just move on and forget it!? Why can't it just leave me alone!

My results served their purpose YESTERDAY, but that's probably just as much as it did. I'm in a shitstorm of emotional crap right now, and the worst part is that I have no one to blame but myself.

I gotta go for class now. I'm already late.

Love,
D.A.niel

Exodus

"I heard you're lost. Do you know your way around?"

Chop Me Up - Justin Timberlake

It is true that one can learn something from everything that happens, good or bad.

For today I learnt that being optimistic CAN backfire very badly in the following situations.

FIRST. Do not confront hardcore problematic pessimists with optimism. It'll do more damage than good. They need help in other ways.

SECOND. Affirmation is NOT necessarily optimistic.

THIRD. Optimism often fails to work on the money-minded pessimist. Everything s/he thinks up boils right down to the money that's behind it

You can't blame money-minded pessimists. They work their bums off for the money that puts food on the tables for their families and they have a right to be like that. The working class is an ongoing everlasting shitstorm. The life is hard and the pay is moderate. The only way out is to find a job you love of end up being a...Yes. You've got it...Money-minded pessimist.

Ok. Fast forward. The exodus was hell on earth. My score?

3 A   3 B   3 C   1 D

I'm satisfied, but not happy. I'm not sad nor am I beaten up about it either. Why? First of all, I was anxious about getting kicked from Taylors. Second? I didn't live up to my forecast.

AND NEITHER did I live up to the results on the post about SPM 2009: Emotions Through The Papers. I didn't make mama proud.

Mum didn't take it that well. She was pissed at the fact that now a scholarship is way out of reach. At least I didn't waste my time looking around.

However, after a peek into the Twitterverse and Facebook, my little delicate happiness bubble grew dry and popped.

It looks like tomorrow there's going to be an idiot among geniuses in P1. I'm screwed. I've been sticking out like a sore thumb in almost all the classes I've been inside for my entire life. I won't be surprised if I'm the one with the lowest score around.

But one thing is for sure. The results served the purpose I intended them to. To get me safely and securely in Taylors. Now it's time to forget the past and move on. It's full steam ahead for SAM now. Bless my soul...

And from the bottom of my heart, Drive The Sensation wishes all SPM 2009 students

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Even if you failed it all, even if you topped the nation, this congratulation is FOR YOU.

You did your best

      You believed in yourself

            You lived 17 years of your life

                  You aimed for the bulls-eye of your goal

                        You chose to take the path that led you further

                              You were brave enough and courageous to rise up to the occasion

                                    and finally,

                                       YOU MADE IT!

Love,
D.A.niel

Pulling Teeth

"I know I'm not lost I am just alone but I won't cry. I won't give up. I can't go back now. Waking up is knowing who you really are."

Exodus - Evanescence

Just when you thought it was safe to step back into the school compound...

BANG!

The time has come for the final paper of 2009's SPM. No it's not a question paper, nor is it an answer script, but it's the ultimate paper of the whole exam. It's the paper that everyone's been waiting for. Some anticipated it, some can't wait for it, some don't want it. Either way, it's here. The results for SPM 2009 are coming out in 9 HOURS and 15 MINUTES from now (time of posting).

So now it boils down to one question for me. Will I testify the forecast, overshoot it or fail to meet it. It's all dependent on that slip of paper. It's the critical moment of truth that decides how much effort we put in last year and how it pays off.

Now I'm nowhere near being a Straight A student, but with what I've got, I managed to use everything I've got to it's max and now, the time has come to reap the profits from the seeds I've sown.

Ok. I need sleep now. My eyelids can kill me.

Love,
D.A.niel

Tamil Splash Remix

"Can you feel it? Music thumping, stars are shining and we're grinding. We were moving."

Nobody Like You (Chirantan Bhatt Remix) - Neeraj Shridhar, Anoushka & Ishq Bector

It took one really, really hard tight slap in the face to wake me up from this perpetual spiral of prejudice I was in.

Honestly, P1 has brought me through a whole new stage in life that I never thought i would pull through. But today I owe alot to our class rep, Kenn.

Kenn, you taught me something today that made me realize how much of an ass hole I've been (spelt that correctly for once :)). Somehow, somewhere along the line, I went against my own beliefs and became extremely hypocritical. It took a friend like you to turn that around. I know you walk away from the insignificant, but thanks for counting me in and accepting me for who I am. I'm willing to change just as much as you are.

Sometimes, walking alone on the journey of life is a dangerous route to take. Especially when you get caught in this downward-spiraling vortex of depression. The kinda crap that happens is really silly. I mean, look at me. I keep telling my pals that we shouldn't look upon others by their race, but look at me now. I do it myself and don't even realize it.

As Jude Antoine said during one of our training camps: "God created us such that we cannot see our own face. He made it the job of another to look at it and tell you how you are from the outside because it's really not supposed to be our job to judge ourselves. If it was, there would be more vanity in today's world than ever before.

So I would like to apologize for all the crap I wrote in the past 2 posts. I've been a little very inconsiderate and I can't believe that I even did such a heartless thing. I know I made the excuse that I grew up in racist conditions. From the day I was placed in Chinese school to the time I was shifted to private school and now, in college. I'm still discriminated, but the folks who treat me by my race know always apologize for what they say, and I guess it's my turn to say sorry to the world. Especially the Chinese.

I would like to close with a little something that Kenn left in my ShoutMix:

kenn:
...saying 'no offence intended' after offending people is like giving someone a slap and telling them you didn't.

With that, God bless you Kenn, and everyone else who reads this AND forgives me.

True and Unconditional Love,

D.A.niel

Kung Fu Fighting

"And If I had one wish come true, I'd surf till the sun sets beyond the horizon "

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride - Kamehameha Schools Children's Chorus (from the soundtrack of Walt Disney Pictures' Lilo & Stitch)

"The one thing I don't like about the SAM Student Council of 2010 is that they're all of one single race, not because that one race is Chinese, but it's just that it's too homogeneous."

"Aiyah. nothing one lah. You half-Chinese ma..."

Edward, if only you knew how racist some Chinese folks can be...

From a young age I have been discriminated. First for my skin colour, then my race, my religion and now my gender. I've suffered from racism, ageism, body-hairism, colourism, religious fanaticism and gender discrimination. Thank God they were not all at the same time.

So now, trying to reject any prejudice that comes to my mind is not as easy. Growing up was difficult, and now, erasing the bad traces of the past are difficult. It's like trying to clean a motor oil spill with nothing but a roll of tissue paper.

I found the key to my happiness a few months back. All it took was just looking at every good thing that comes out of a bad thing. If I just can't find that silver lining, I...

Bloody hell, what gives!!?

Chinese will take over in the next election, warns Perkasa

By Asrul Hadi Abdullah Sani

KUALA LUMPUR, March 8 — Malay nationalist group Perkasa warns that the Chinese community will use the next general election to take over the country. 

Perkasa feels that the last general election weakened the Malays and empowered the Chinese community.

Dr Zubir Harun, director of Perkasa’ economic bureau, who was at the Malay Consultative Council’s (MPM) round-table discussion, said during his presentation that a divided Malay community will empower the other races.

According to delegates at the discussion and documents received by The Malaysian Insider, Perkasa wants the New Economic Policy (NEP) to be the “spirit” of the New Economic Model (NEM).

“Perkasa believes that disunity among the Malays has weakened Umno, causing the non-Malays to be more vocal in their demands. They say that the Chinese are also blackmailing the government to give in to their demands by threatening to vote for Pakatan Rakyat,” said one of the delegates.

Zubir also said that Perkasa is worried that the New Economic Model will have a Chinese agenda.

“The Chinese people feel that the next general election is the best opportunity for them to gain power in this country.

“This is why Chinese NGOs, such as Ziong Dong and Associated Chinese Chambers of Commerce, are using this chance to make demands of the government. If their demands are not met, then they will vote Pakatan Rakyat who are willing to give everything to the Chinese,” he elaborated in his presentation.

Zubir added that the Malays have “sacrificed” for the country by allowing “the immigrants” to live in Malaysia.

“It must be reminded that the Malay people have sacrificed tremendously since independence with a quid pro quo policy...  the Malay race have compromised by allowing foreigners into the country. The Malays endured hundreds of years of colonization and the result is the migration of foreigners into the country. We were forced to accept this policy,” he said.

Zubir also slammed non-Malays and liberal Malays for wanting to rewrite the country’s Constitution and social contract.

Perkasa believes that the NEP is still relevant because it will help the Malay community to counter a market which is dominated by the Chinese.

The Malaysian Insider reported today that the government has decided to incorporate the proposed New Economic Model (NEM) into the 10th Malaysia Plan (10MP) in June, as fine-tuning and tweaks will go beyond its initial end-March launch.

It was learnt the delay came after feedback from various quarters prompted the government to rework its ideas and proposals that will turn Malaysia into a high-income nation based on innovation and creativity.

Among those with reservations about the NEM are the MPM which yesterday demanded it be based on the 1970s-era New Economic Policy (NEP) and should comply with Article 153 of the Federal Constitution that protect Malay and Bumiputera’s special position.

(Taken from The Malaysian Insider)

I somehow hold on to my distorted belief that Malaysia has a little too many Chinese folks. Some of them are complete assoles, but no race is perfect. I'm still trying to accept that. I'm not meaning to discriminate the entire race, but in my life I've been living with Chinese people everywhere I turn. Every part of my life has a Chinese in it. Why? I'm half-Chinese myself.

So I guess I look like an idiot stabbing myself in the chest with all these statements. What you see is what I see.

No offence intended people. It's just the crude, pissed-off conservative Daniel Anthony of 2005 talking.

Ok, back to the topic.

...I get down on my knees and pray to God to give me hope and show me the good things that come out when shit happens. That's my key to happiness.

My second task was to un-learn how to hate. Hate is useless. It brings about no good but good riddance. It's sad, depressing and full of anger. That is why I don't join hate groups and all anti-whatever or whoever groups on Friendster and Facebook.

Well, Now I gotta get down and pray that God bring me the good that comes out of the current news...Gah. Homework is tapping my shoulder too. Gotta go.

Love,
D.A.niel

Audio Adrenaline

"Now we're here in a world that's got plenty of beer. I've got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here"

Tik Tok - Ke$ha

Friday night was a real blast (as the name suggests, it was supposed to be a NuclearBlast.). The DJ was awesome, the lighting was bombastic and the reception was great.

One thing I didn't really like was the homogeneous SAM Student Council for 2010. I mean, I can't expect everyone I voted for to win, but somehow, I can't help but question.

WHY ARE THEY ALL CHINESE!!?

No offence intended, but why is the board so homogeneous!? Can't we have a variety of races? I mean, if the president is Chinese I'm ok, if the secretary is Chinese I'm ok, but heck!? Everyone there is Chinese!

To be honest, if they were all Indian, or all Malay, I would be just as unsatisfied. The spectrum is too racially narrow, in my opinion, to weigh the opinions of all those who speak on behalf of any one ethnicity.  Too many Chinese people really do lead up to an unbalanced committee.

But heck, what's done is done. I'll just shut up and accept it. So congrats to all the winners. You've done a great job in making your manifestos heard. Now live up to it kay? :)

Ok. I have outstanding homework and I really need to get it out of the way. Nights.

Love,
D.A.niel

Teach Me How To Dance

"There's something 'bout the night and the way it hides all the things I like. Little black butterflies deep inside me."

Mama Do - Pixie Lott

I missed Legal studies consultation to go for Christian Fellowship. It's my last free Friday in Taylors so I decided to spend it in the glory of God.

It's gonna be an awesome night. I can't wait for the SAM Fiesta starting in a bit.

There's a Legal Studies Essay test on Monday, and with all I can do I sure hope that's gonna boost my grades. I messed up the Short Response paper on Monday and now I hope this helps. Please God, I need this.

After all, I scribble alot in class. Sometimes I can be pretty artistic :)

Mr. David told us a lil bit about maturity yesterday. It was an interesting approach he used. He said that we must be able to handle people properly and with care. He also said that if we're mature, we need to be able to see through others' point of view and live our lives with taking that into consideration. Of course, it should NEVER get in the way of your dreams.

I gotta go grab a bite. I've never been in Taylors this late before.

Love,
D.A.niel

Sung Song Blue

"Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline. It'd been a long hard year. She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention. She was going way to fast."

Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood

Fion Tan was right. Thursdays are pretty depressing...

First thing in the morning, my experimentation with my alarm clock's settings that didn't work set my mother on fire. She wants to compromise my further education if I can't wake up on my own. Lang story short? I'm dead.

Later, I screwed my Malaysian Studies essay like crazy. I took out all my racist and prejudice thoughts on that sheet of paper. Don't be surprised if I'm beaten up tomorrow. I'm someone who has reflexes in my vocal cords. The organ can bypass my brain at times.

So that's over, leaving me feeling both satisfied at taking it all out, and shitty for taking it out there.

Directly after that was Maths. Ok. Maths. Right.

I FAILED THE TEST YESTERDAY.

This however, comes as no surprise. I couldn't finish the paper and no, I'm not blaming anyone else but myself. If you want reasons, don't ask me not to pass the blame. Crap, I haven't even told my mom yet.

The dusty Thursday just gets worse and worse...especially because I'm still *coughing*. Tomorrow is the SAM Fiesta. I hope it all runs well. I'm dying to hear a professional DJ spin n' scratch live.

Great. I just overturned my coin box forgetting that it was still open. You know the itchy habit some of us have, the one where we like to rotate and oscillate stuff that's in our hands. Some of us spin pens between our fingers, some twirl their handphone around, some dwindle with string attached to whatnots and so on. Well, I just did it with my coin box. Silly huh?

The maths paper is still haunting me. Shit. I don't think I can sleep tonight.

And as usual, after I vent i have to end this post with my self-created word that helps me remember how I felt.

iBeDamned

Love,
Daniel

Russian Roulette

"I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you cause I'm bluffing. With my muffin I'm not lying, i'm just stunning."

Pokerface - Lady Gaga

It's Wednesday and I'm coughing like a...

...a...

      ...a sick...

            ...*coughs*...

                  ...a...

                       ...a...

                              ...ACHOO!!

                                     ......

Nevermind. I never found a metaphor that stresses on the extremes of coughing. Maybe it's because I've never coughed so much before in my entire life.

But besides coughing, my throat feels like a golf ball. Out of the sneezing, the obvious coughing and the laughing. I laughed my bum off today.

Bringing back old jokes, clean and dirty from the archives of the secondary school life made me laugh till my stomach hurt. I was mentally crazy for nearly an hour just cracking jokes with Joel. Digging up old stuff really is nostalgic and can bring back memories that'll make you laugh for minutes on end.

Cap Goh Meh is over, thus preventing us from betting our pants off. However, we're still addicted to the deck. So how? We started by flicking each other on the fingers and slowly increasing the penalties to sit ups and "Billie Jean" moves. It ended a lil extremely, but not over the hedge :).

So now it's time for me to sleep because I'm dead tired, but before that I need to congratulate the Balloon Buzz Party Centre and Balloon Bouquets for their latest achievement - to be featured on a UK Balloon website. All because of their latest masterpiece,

(Taken from the Balloon Buzz Party Centre Facebook Page)

By the way, I'm referring to the floral balloon arch and NOT the clown.

Congrats again!

Love,
D.A.niel

Falling For You

"Your choice is black or white, not a shade of gray because in love there's no such thing as halfway. Devotion can't be swayed, emotions can't be torn. He'd rather we be hot or cold than lukewarm."

Give It Up - Avalon

So far so good. Monday hasn't killed me yet. It's been a rather good day so far if you don't count the Legal Studies exam I screwed up this afternoon.

It seems to be the dawn of a new era for bloggers in Malaysia. Things have really changed. Once, blogging was a teenage thing. Today, even 8 year-olds have began penning their thoughts on the internet rather than on small lil' diaries with locks on them and a fairly obvious sticker saying things like "KEEP OUT!". Things have really changed through the years.

Journal therapy has long been favored among individuals who have trouble in expressing themselves to others or to society. I'm the one sitting in between. I have things to hide not from society, but from other individuals such as family members and other people whom I do not express myself freely with.

Oh now look at the time. It's Tuesday already. Procrastination is killing me.

Back to the topic. I have no idea why I am blogging like this. probably because my blog has lost popularity and good content over the last few months. The header hasn't changed much since last month after i fell into that stoopid pitfall scam that cost me 95U$D. As you can clearly see I'm still trying to recover.

It's getting late. Somehow in the wee hours of the morning, I always feel like tomorrow is gonna kill me.

I'm so gonna need coffee tomorrow. That's so not my usual routine.

Love,
D.A.niel