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Saturday, 3 April 2010

Broken Record

“It came on like the night and she held on tight.”
Love So Right - The Bee Gees

It’s Holy Saturday and the time is just right for a perfect evening. I just finished my weekend homework from College (at least most of it) and have finished all my chores and work.

In fact, I was preparing to head to SIBKL for their Easter Service, but I wouldn’t make it in time, so dad decided that he’ll send me tomorrow morning at 7.

Sounds like I’mma take a walk in the park or watch TV? Yes. It sure does…

How I wish I could…

This morning, my parents headed over to college for the parent-teachers’ meeting. Enough said. My last post on a Parent-Teachers’ meeting was here. Nothing new. I’m still the same stuck-up teenager who can’t discipline himself to do any damn thing.

I realize how much time I actually waste while talking to my parents. In emotional congestion and a temporarily motivated state of mind, I make empty promises. Promises I know I myself cannot keep.

I don’t wanna talk to my parents anymore about this. Every time I do that, I am forced into making those hypocritical commitments that I can never live up to. Nothing ever works out, and now I have a reputation for not living up to my word.

When I end up in the car with mum (failing my driving test was a blessing in disguise so I don’t crash the bloody car while wiping tears from my eyes), she always ends up in a monologue of how her life is worthless because of me. If I was such a waste, why is she still spending her ass off on me? Her reply?

“Because I know you can do it, but you-just-don’t-put-any-damn-effort-into-it.”

As if I have all the strength in the world to do so…I fight with my own inner self. I have self-control issues, I have problems with myself and I have trouble with time management. They think I have insufficient time. Well, most of the top scorers I know…

  1. PLAY VIDEO GAMES

    I could never commit myself to a video game. The furthest I went was in Need For Speed Most Wanted and I sucked at it. All them A-students are DotA professionals and even have time for a game a week.

  2. WATCH TELEVISION

    The television sits in my living room and is of almost no use to me. Yes, we watch movies on it, but it’s just there otherwise. Dad watches the news, Joel watches AXN. I don’t even commit to watching any series. Occasionally I watch Dr. House and CSI, but to date I have never watched a single episode of Glee.

  3. GO CLUBBING

    The last time I tried to get into a club just for a small party, I got kicked out. In my entire life I have never set foot in a club nor have I been in a disco. Although I like to turntable and do mixing, I have never had the experience of watching a real DJ do it in a proper booth.

  4. CAN DRIVE

    Somehow they all pass their exams on the first go and can take their car all over the place. It’s like they have a natural skill for taking the car around without banging into anything or causing an accident. I could easily ax half the population of KL while driving around. Who needs an army when you got me?

  5. ARE SKILLED IN MUSIC

    I love music, but I suck at it. Period.

  6. DRINK

    I’m in to mixology, but I only touch alcohol 2-3 times a month on average. I’ve never mixed any of my recopies before. I’ve never tried Vodka either but everytime I come across all them successful people, they start drinking Hennessey at 15. It feels very bad being the only legal drinker at a table where everyone’s drinking beer. You start feeling guilty among a group of carefree people.

  7. HANG OUT

    I always hear these folks watching movies with their friends every other weekend. I hardly go out with friends, and if I do it’s not for long. My parents complain about it, but what the heck. I socialize over Twitter and Facebook, and I’m beginning to feel like a complete robot.

  8. HAVE GONE DATING

    With my kind of looks, looks like I’ll never get a date until the day I die. And even then, no one’s gonna care.

  9. SKIP SCHOOL

    I religiously attend school almost every day. What I do in school is a different story but what seems to be the pattern is that (Especially in secondary school) those people who hardly come to school are the ones who top the lists and do damn well.

  10. SLEEP IN CLASS

    Looks like it is true that when you’re asleep you actually absorb information better.

  11. HAVE A HOT TEMPER

    One little prod over the line and boom! You’re in trouble. You’re gonna get a lecture from that person that you’ll never understand.

  12. ARE VULGAR

    I swear, but I only swear when I’m angry. They have a cuss word every 3 sentences.

  13. HAVE NO ABSOLUTE GOAL IN LIFE

    Most of these people seem like they have no idea where they’re going. When asked, they’re pretty uncertain about their future and where they’re headed. Basically, they LOOK like they’re just blindly following the fast road to destiny.

 

And they have time for work on top of all that. Jesus, what’s wrong with me!?

Something tells me that mum is out of the bathroom. I gotta go face the shitstorm.

I’ll update again when I come back, if I’m still alive.

Love,
D.A.niel

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