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Saturday, 20 March 2010

Frequency Modulation

“Baby, don’t worry. Just get back up when you’re tumbling down, down, down.”
United State Of Pop 2009 (Blame It on The Music) – DJ Earworm

Everytime I say “I CAN DO THIS”, I don’t seem to be able to live up to it. If you have an answer to that, please let me know. I need help.

I’ve been trying to motivate myself to do better, but the only thing that seems to be by my side is my luck, and it’s running out. Fast.

Somehow, the reward waiting for me at the end of the road isn’t good enough to push me towards my goal. Motivation is the rare commodity that I’m constantly missing. Some say it’s a lack of love, but I disagree. I feel loved everyday, no doubt about that. Others say it’s a lack of attention, but I don’t really seek attention (unless I do it without noticing). Either way, I’m determined to overcome my laziness. All i need is someone to push me to take that first step.

How hard is that, I really don’t know, but for now I need to believe that I can do it. I tried telling myself that I could, but I’m still trying. Even the first step is so hard to take.

External motivation means a lot to me, but I’m careful about the affirmation I receive.My performance declines when I receive compliments.

So please help me. I need to do something.


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