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Saturday, 23 January 2010

Syncopated Disaaster

"And if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind. Come here, you can take a piece of mine. You could be taking it easy on yourself, You should be making it easy on yourself, cause you and I know."
Road Rage - Catatonia

Some form 2 girls really, really know how to turn my ventilator on.

Seriously. I was having a great morning until you idiots had to ruin it for me. I can't believe that you're 14 and still can't think maturely. Plus, you wanna date people. Silly ain't it?

I need to vent this crap all out now because I'm going driving later. The academy already said that driving must be done only when you're in a good mood, and not when your brain is filled with negative burdens. You need a clean mind to drive, and I want to get my license fast so that I can drive an automatic instead of a sluggish overused manual.

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Haven't you ever heard that it takes a true man to wear pink? What's wrong with that?? It looks to me that today we guys cannot even choose our own favourite colour without others having nasty comment about it. What's the status quo of society? Our favourite colours are supposed to be dark, dull and cool colours like navy blue, black, dark green blablabla, and not bright, cute colours like yellow, light blue and purple.

It's sad to see so many grown men and adults who still have the same mindset. Once again i stress that it's disturbingly common in Asians, and even more common in teenagers. Since when did colour determine our sexual orientation? I know our ear piercings do, but that should be the limit.

Being bound by society's norms of determining sexual orientation is downright screwed up. Many people out there are unlike me. They don't dare to be different. They don't dare to stand up. Why? Because we're stuck in two paradigms. The first being our self-consciousness. We always like to move upwards and soar to greater heights, but we can't seem to take a blow that brings us down even by one step. It's part of the reason why the suicide rate is increasing.

If you have watched the first episode of the Korean drama called Boys Over Flowers, you'll see what I mean. In that episode the student under so much pressure from the school's society had almost jumped to his death but was saved by a girl who was there for the sole purpose of delivering laundry.

If you're not in to Korean drama, then a more recent flick called Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant has a similar approach, I don't think the same scene occoured in the book series (The Saga of Darren Shan) though. It was when Darren's best friend was about to commit suicide too, but was given an offer he couldn't refuse by a morbid sadistic aristocrat who turned him into a vampire. It shows that when we're depressed and down, we may do anything it takes, even if it's wrong or harmful, to get back up.

The other paradigm is the one I was talking about at the beginning. The one about colours and sexual orientation. Just imagine someone's parents think in the same way. Their children will be caught in a perpetual downwards spiral of criticism. When this happens, even the sweetest of affirmations can't get them back on their feet because they have already been programmed to the norms set by their parents AND the society they are in.

It takes more than one person to step out of this. Males tend to reflect on their ego and do all sorts of very stupid things that could earn them a Darwin Award just to show off. It takes family affirmation, it takes TRUE friends who are willingly going to walk with them step by step to help them become who they really are at heart. It's always what's inside that counts, and wearing pink may be something on the outside, but it takes a really courageous and loving inside to be able to wear it.

Ok. I'm done with the venting. I'm finally able to smile again.


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