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Saturday, 24 October 2009

False Relations

“I'll take that blame from you, and you can put the blame on me.”
Sorry, Put The Blame On Me - Akon

For centuries a question had baffled scientists and philosophers the world over. It was: “How do I know that I exist?”

The most famous answer to that question was provided by Rene Descartes. He was a mathematician who replied it with a simple phrase: “I think, therefore I am."

Looking at the way that sentence was put, I dare to say that I exist. Not only that, I am human, and I have feelings. But still, some of you treat air with a higher priority than me.

For I've learnt a lot of things throughout this week...and I will list them out here.

You bump into me.
My fault. I was in your way.

You slap me.
My fault. I annoyed you.

You scold me.
My fault. I offended you.

You feel insulted.
My fault. I slandered your name.

You can't study.
My fault. I'm around.

Your girlfriend broke up with you.
My fault. I introduced her to you.

You failed your exam.
My fault. I taught you the wrong thing.

You hate me.
My fault. I didn't treat you well.

You regret your actions.
My fault. I didn't stop you.

You feel unloved.
My fault. I didn't show you enough love.

You feel useless.
My fault. I didn't make you feel useful.

You feel exploited.
My fault. I didn't speak up for you.

You're lost.
My fault. I didn't show you the way.

You're oppressed.
My fault. I kept my mouth shut.

Your girlfriend is crying.
My fault. I called her a bimbo.

Your family thinks you're uncontrollable.
My fault. I failed to prove them wrong.

You can't live a peaceful life.
My fault. I bugged you.

You thought we were friends.
My fault. I made you think so.

You smoked when you were 14.
My fault. I didn't warn you.

You feel like you're being lied to.
My fault. I lied to you.

You want an explanation.
My fault. I can't provide one.

You need a hug.
My fault. I couldn't be there to give you one.

You cheat in your exam.
My fault. I wouldn't give you the answers.

You're guilty.
My fault. I prove myself innocent.

You feel avenged.
My fault. I took revenge on something beyond my control.

You are violated physically.
My fault. I'm too much of a wimp to stand up for you.

Something breaks.
My fault. I touched it.

You lose a friend.
My fault. I didn't get involved.

You grow older.
My fault. I made time fly.

You forget to do something.
My fault. I didn't remind you.

You think you have do everything around.
My fault. I don't do what's expected of me.

You're ugly.
My fault. I tried to tell you it's what's inside that counts.

Your possessions are safe but unreachable.
My fault. I put them there to keep them safe.

You have a bad poker hand.
My fault. I'm a lousy dealer.

You lose your virginity.
My fault. I didn't stop you.

You get the last position in class.
My fault. I beat you.

Your food tastes horrible.
My fault. I didn't tell you what's good.

Your life sucks.
My fault. I said mine rocks (well, it used to...).

You can't stand noise.
My fault. I'm making it.

Your computer crashes.
My fault. I used it.

You hate trouble.
My fault. I'm a troublemaker.

You can't focus.
My fault. I'm distracting you.

You can't think straight.
My fault. I put thoughts in my head.

Deja Vu?
My fault. I can't remember a thing.

You lose your game.
My fault. I didn't cheer you on.

You lose another game.
My fault. You got distracted when I decided to cheer you on.

You're thirsty.
My fault. I don't have anything potable.

You lose money gambling.
My fault. I failed to do the math.

You punch me.
My fault. I provoked you.

You kill me.
My fault. I was your enemy.

You deny knowing me.
My fault. I'm an embarrassing person to be seen with.

You can't sleep.
My fault. I kept you up.

You have a false sense of accomplishment.
My fault. My standards are too low.

Your Twitter feed is spammed with messages.
My fault. I'm lonely.

You hate your parents.
My fault. They're my parents too and I never showed you the bright side.

You make a wrong turn.
My fault. I didn't switch on my GPS.

You can't get along with me.
My fault. I'm incompatible with you.

Your Windows Live Messenger is lagging.
My fault. I messaged you.

You call up a gang to whack me up.
My fault. I said stuff about you.

You are disturbed.
My fault. I'm disturbing you.

You think I'm an idiot.
My fault. I am one.

You talk cock.
My fault. I talk cock.

You're being played.
My fault. I thought you would realize.

You hate yourself.
My fault. I didn't love you enough.

You're in a bad place in society.
My fault. I showed you a bad example.

You're hit.
My fault. I didn't take the shot for you.

You die.
My fault. I didn't save you.

There you have it. Living proof that everything is really, my fault.


I really do break everything I touch...because of that, I'm afraid to touch your heart as you have touched mine...I don't want to break the heart of an angel with the touch of a sinner.

I'm here for you to blame me for anything else I'm guilty for. +60172914344


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