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Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Over The Rainbow

"It's always gonna be an uphill mountain, always gonna want to make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, somebody's gonna have to lose."
The Climb - Miley Cyrus

 I switched on my com, booted up into Linux, and the countdown to SPM is giving me the creeps. As you can see a little number 97 and a clock in the bottom right-hand corner of the page. It's counting down to precisely 7:45 AM, 18th November 2009, which marks the 1st Bahasa Malaysia Paper of 2009's SPM, and in my case, a moment in history for my school as it's the first time the school will be undergoing SPM.

I love my wallpaper. Haha.

On my right is the 2009 Popular Edition Bible Diary for Catholics. It's also my study plan and my quiet-time schedule. I was just chatting with Sarah Tan, and elaborating how I couldn't follow schedules or all my life until just recently. And i look back and saw how true it was. For an absurd excuse i always thought that living within schedules limits and puts walls on one's creativity. Therefore, making life difficult for those who want to express themselves artistically.

Well, my books are piling up, and i really don't wanna let time just slip through my fingers. For I know my time of fun is over, as I have to take my driving exam after SPM, and then turn 18 in January 2010. My plans for next year are still so blurry, and my dream is hanging on a delicate thread, praying oh so faithfully that it's going to come true and change the world. It's hard having the dream of dreams, especially for someone like me who wants it to become a reality...very, very badly.

I'm thinking of crossdressing after SPM, but the plans are still open. I still have to go for my slimming treatment before anything. And i don't know where to buy a good wig, silicone and decent clothes. The transexual crossdresser's motto is to dress following either the woman you probably are deep down in your heart, a woman you know and NOT the woman of your dreams. If you try too hard, you'll fail. Guaranteed.

Plus, I really have to change the way I eat! Gotta stop being such a PIG!


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